


BALD! BALD! BALD!

by erensbootydestroysall



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13742640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erensbootydestroysall/pseuds/erensbootydestroysall
Summary: Levi! Is! Bald!! Mid life crisis much??





	BALD! BALD! BALD!

**Author's Note:**

> This cursed image: https://dirtylevi.tumblr.com/post/170518706822/this-is-all-your-fault-shingeki-no-dead-otp-you
> 
> Is what drove me to write this shitty ass Drabble lmao 
> 
> Bald Levi is such a concept

Levi stared at the mirror. He couldn't stop looking at himself. 

After all, he's never been bald before.

It felt weird. Whenever he saw his reflection he'd half expect to see his beautiful black locks gently framing his face. Actually, now that Levi thought about it, his hair did take a big role in helping him appear younger than he was.

But now he's bald. He could practically see a sparkling shine on the top of his head. 

After staring at himself from various amounts of angles, Levi came to the conclusion that it wasn't that bad. Yes, this new do definitely aged him up about several years and he definitely looked a million times better with his beautiful, thick, black hair but he didn't look disgusting without it. 

Right? 

After all, it's not what's on the outside that counts. It's the inside. He still has his beautiful personality. His shitty, irritable, grouchy, pissed off...personality. 

Oh no. 

His hair was practically the only thing he had going for him!

Levi shook his (bald) head. No, he's selling himself short. No, pun intended. Levi would never inflict a short pun on himself. Anyways, he's just worrying too much. He knows for a fact that his loved ones will still accept him even if he were bald. Like his boyfriend Eren for example. That boy had claimed countless of times how much he had loved Levi. Hell, Eren even went as far to call each other soul mates. And soul mates would never let a superficial thing like hair get in the way of their everlasting love. 

It shouldn't. 

It shouldn't! 

Right before Levi could doubt the raw power of true love, Eren came in, erasing all of Levi's doubts and worries. 

"Honey, I'm home!" Eren yelled in a sing song voice. "Haha, I always wanted to do tha-OH MY GOD LEVI GET IN HERE, THERES A STRANGER IN THE HOUSE!!" 

Before Eren could embarrass himself by foolishly attacking this "stranger", Levi turned around, facing Eren in all of his shiny headed glory. 

He winced at Eren's obnoxious outburst. "It's me you idiot."

He stood there and watched as Eren's face went through several vast and diverse facial expressions. Ranging from shock, fear, anger, and complete, utter bafflement. If this wasn't such a serious moment right now, Levi probably would've cracked a smile at Eren's over the top reaction.

He finally settled for a look of defeat as Eren slumped his shoulders down. "No, Levi..." 

Having those big colorful orbs staring back at him with such disappointment and chagrin made Levi feel terrible and filled with such remorse. 

Levi looked uneasy, not sure on what to say exactly. The air in the room thickened as Eren continued to silently judge Levi's bald head. 

"Did- did you do this because of him?" Eren finally spoke. He kept his voice frail and gentle, like he was some predatory wolf and Levi was a small bunny that he didn't want to scare off. 

It only resulted in Levi's confusion. "Huh? Because of who?" He was genuinely in the dark on what Eren was trying to hint at. 

Eren suddenly tore his eyes away from Levi's shiny bald spot and locked his eyes with the carpet. He mumbled something but Levi couldn't make a word out. 

"Eren, just spit it out." Levi snapped. He was already feeling self conscious over this whole ordeal. 

"Did you do this because of..because of..Mr. Clean?" 

Levi shot his head up and looked at Eren. Was he being serious? That had to be a joke. 

But Levi stared at him and saw nothing but genuine concern and worry written all over Eren's face. 

"You actually think that I shaved my head just for the sole purpose of looking like Mr. Clean?" Levi couldn't believe the string of words that were leaving his mouth right now. 

"Well why else would you impulsively shave your head fucking bald?!" Eren yelled out in frustration, throwing his hands up. 

Levi didn't have an answer for that. "Do you not love me anymore?" 

He felt stupid for asking such a superficial question but seeing how negative Eren's reaction was, he couldn't help but ask. 

"What?" Eren asked and Levi didn't repeat himself because they both heard the question the first time. Eren angrily rolled his eyes. "Of course I still love you. I'll always love you. What kind of a question is that? I'm just confused as to why you'd get rid of your hair like that. I know Mr. Clean seems sort of hot in theory but-"

As Eren continued to rant about Mr. Clean's questionable hotness, Levi kept replaying what Eren said over and over inside his head. He wasn't expecting to blush over Eren's response. _"I'll always love you."_ His fingertips touched his pink cheeks, a small gentle smile forming on his lips. 

"-And you know what, if you wanna role play as him in bed then I guess I won't mind. Whatever makes you happy. As long as we go easy. I can't get a broomstick up my ass on day one. Maybe we should start with a feather duster or something.." he pondered aloud. 

"Eren, you really mean that?" Levi asked, ignoring everything else that Eren was rambling about. 

"Yes, I don't think I can handle such an extreme thing up my-" 

"No, not that." Levi cut him off. "That you'll always love me." 

Eren looked surprised that Levi was still hanging on to that. "Um yes? Forever and always?" He stared at Levi like he was born yesterday. Eren acted as if Levi asked him the most obvious thing in the world. 

Levi smiled. "You little shit." He brought a hand up to his scalp and started pulling at his skin, stretching it out as far as he could. 

"What the hell!" Eren jumped back at the sudden action. 

Levi pulled off the cap and threw it on the couch. Out came his beautiful, soft, flowy locks as they gently bounced back into place, his bangs gently falling in front of his face once more. 

With a look of horror and shock, Eren eyes stared back and forth from Levi's hair to the bald cap. "Witchcraft." He whispered in fear. 

"Tch, no you idiot. Just spirit gum and liquid latex." He wiped his forehead and grimaced at the residue on his finger. He needed to wash all this make up off soon. 

"I- you're not- is this a prank??" Eren immediately looked around the perimeters of the room, trying to find a secret hidden camera. 

"It wasn't supposed to be. Hanji just needed to practice with her special effects skills and used me as her dummy." Levi explained. "She did a pretty good job. I mean it fooled you after all." 

"Yeah, it also succeeded in me getting a heart attack. Geez, I thought you were the one who's supposed to be dealing with those, not me." Eren smiled, still shocked and also relieved that Levi was not actually bald.

Levi lightly smacked Eren's shoulder. "Yeah well don't worry, my hair is here to stay. Hopefully I won't get male pattern baldness when I get old." 

Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's waist, pulling Levi down to his lap so that they were face to face. "What do you mean 'when'?" 

Another smack to the arm. 

Eren just laughed as he hugged Levi tighter, causing Levi to lose his balance and collapse into Eren's body. He accepted the warm embrace as Levi buried his face further into Eren's chest, clinging onto his shirt.

"I really meant it you know." Eren mused, resting his chin on Levi's head. 

"What?" Levi's voice was muffled and tickled through Eren's shirt. 

"I'll always love you, full head of hair or not. Though, I definitely prefer the former." He laughed. 

Levi said something back, but Eren couldn't hear him when Levi was practically clinging onto him like a koala bear on a tree. 

"Sorry, what was that?" He laughed, lifting his chin off of Levi. 

Levi lifted his head up abruptly, glaring at the boy. Though, with his disheveled hair all over his face, a light pink blush glazed on his cheeks and that cute little lip pouting out, Eren couldn't even feel threatened.

"I said," Levi began, blush growing deeper and eyes suddenly averting Eren's "Don't ever leave me." 

"Hm, and why is that?" Eren let out a cheeky smile, enjoying this way too much. 

"You asshole." Levi stared at him, knowing what he wants. 

"Please Levi?" Eren did his best take at the puppy dog eyes- a huge advantage for him since he knew how gorgeous his eyes were. 

It seemed to have worked because Levi did it. "I love you Eren." He placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Then another one on both his right cheek and his left. Soon he began peppering Eren's face with little sweet kisses and whispering sweet "I love you's" between the two of them. 

Levi wouldn't mind staying like this forever, he thought as he continued showering Eren with love and affection. 

**Author's Note:**

> jk lol he ain't bald


End file.
